Worries of Work

Although it was in May that I said my shahada, it was still some time before I felt comfortable enough to wear a hijab to work. I'm an assistant manager of a convenience store with a company that I had been employed by in my home town. I see a lot of different people, with different opinions and most of them aren't shy about letting anyone know where they stand. I had the approval of my corporate office that I was able to wear it, but it has to match my uniform. No problem there.

My regular customers also include a good majority of the city and university police departments and many of the officers are in or have been in one branch or another of the US military. Most of those have been deployed to middle eastern countries or Afghanistan and I considered myself friends with them. Because I know what my husband, a veteran of the US Army who was deployed to Iraq for a year, felt about Muslims and Islaam before he chose to revert, I was worried about how many of my officer friends felt the same way and the potential backlash of the rest of my customer base. I didn't want to lose the friends that I had made here or cost my company money, so it took a few months and some lengthy discussions with my two closest Sisters, my husband, my boss and a few of the officers that I was closer with to come to the conclusion that wearing a hijab would be ok.

The first day I went to work with my head covered, I think I answered the same questions the whole nine hours that I was there; "Are you muslim???" and "When did THAT happen???" and "But you're an AMERICAN!". I would receive dirty looks from some who hadn't been that familiar with me before but surprisingly there were more "That's GREAT!!" and "You go girl!" than I had initially expected. It was a huge sigh of relief to know that the majority of my community was on my side. I was asked where I am from a lot (that's still the most popular question over a year later) and some would try to guess which far off country I actually came from. They're always surprised to hear that I'm not only an American, I was born and raised by American parents in Oklahoma. The next logical step for most to assume is that I married a Muslim man, so therefore that must be the reason for my acceptance of Islaam.

Even though it has been over a year since I started covering my head at work and most people have figured out that I'm not really that much different than I was before, there are still those who choose to vent their negativity and hate and voice their backhanded comments. Not directly to me of course, but within ear shot and they are always accompanied by sideways glances. I've been told that "As long as someone believes in God, they should be allowed to live." (I'm still not sure if that was a comment or a hateful remark); "You're not a Muslim, you're too white."; "I didn't know they made white Muslims." and "Well, at least you don't have to wear the FULL thing." That last one was made by a woman, to which I replied "Yes...at least." knowing that she had no clue as to how strict my clothing options had been and were becoming outside of my job.