It seemed like it took forever for me to leave my comfort zone of work, go out around the town in a hijab and not stress so much about what those around me thought. In actuality though, it was only about a month. Wearing only a hijab seems like no big thing now but the niqab has brought its own set of insecurities.
It's been about a year since I decided to start wearing my black abaya with matching gloves and niqab and every day has been a progression to wearing it more full time. It's gotten harder to be able to or even to want to go out and do certain things with my family, like going out to dinner or even to the mall. The stares and the comments come more when I'm fully covered than they ever did in just a hijab.
As time goes on and the more confident I become in my choice to obey Allaah's command and cover my face and hands along with my hair, it gets easier to ignore the "Does she even belong in here???" at the grocery stores and the "I thought Halloween was over months ago.." I rarely leave my house without my husband as an escort unless I'm going to work.
There are always those who have genuine questions and those other sisters who feel that being unveiled or even without a hijab in front of non-mahram men is okay and I always tell them that a woman's beauty is for Allaah alone. My husband loves me and thinks that I'm even more beautiful when I'm completely covered and veiled than when I'm not, which is pretty much never unless he sees me at work.
Day to day things get easier but there are always those who disagree with how I look or dress and as long as I live where I do, I'm sure that won't change. I hope that some of those women who think I, along with my fellow niqabi sisters are oppressed, can look at me and see that wearing next to nothing doesn't make them beautiful, but attracts the attention often that so many of them don't want. I hope they can see that beauty really is what is inside a person and not what is seen on the outside.
Ah just 2 days ago I felt this anxiety. .. sigh
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