As I've said before, I'm a manager of a convenient store in the town I live in and it's one of the few places that I can't veil, at least while I'm working. I'm still obviously a Muslimah though as I wear a hijab that matches my work uniform and also as I have said before, I'm privileged (if you can call it that sometimes) to have the experience of some of the best and worst of the general public. Some are curious, some are hateful and some a just indifferent. Yesterday was a fairly uneventful day at the store with the normal end of college hustle and bustle of students with their parents, packing up and moving out of town for summer break. Until almost the very end of my shift. As I was busy finishing up the remaining bit of the grocery delivery from Friday, I was approached by a young man. I had noticed him staring at me while he was checking out at the other register, but as I'm often stared at, I wasn't thinking much of it. As he approached me at the other end of the counter, he said he had a question and that he's always been interested in the pyschological/social dynamic of Muslim men and women. (Um, ok?) Basically what I got from that question was that he was wanting to know my opinion of how women were viewed and treated in Islaam.
Like so many others, who understandably I suppose, make the mistake of assuming that because I am obviously not Middle Eastern (It's true, I'm noticeably white haha) that I must have married into Islaam so therefore I should have a somewhat negative opinion of how women are treated versus how the "free" American women are treated.
I told him that I'm married, and his response was "Well, yeah", which is where I could tell he got his assumption so he asked about previous boyfriends. Honestly, coming from a town as small as where I did, there weren't many opportunities to date anyone outside of the norm so my boyfriend list was pretty limited to white, predominately Christian or non-religious. I told him that I had never had a Muslim boyfriend and that my husband and I entered Islaam together. Which was met with an "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!!! Well, ok then. So what drew you to it?? What was it that made you say 'This is what is right for me'?" I told him of the class that I took as a student at OU, about my friend and mentor, Fadilah, and I told him that I see Islaam as the most beautiful thing I have ever had the chance to experience. That I believe the western media puts it in a bad light with all of the negative press that they give it and that if people would take the time to ask questions or open a book, they would most likely be surprised at the answers that they find. (Alhamdulillah, he agreed!)
With that, he smiled, told me thanks and walked out the door. In sha Allaah he got the answer he was looking for, or at least that he went away with something else to think of or pass on to someone else, but I really don't know.
I might not have answers to all of the questions, but I admire those who choose to have a conversation with me about something they're not familiar with. I'm learning as I go, but I try to pass on what I do know...if you're willing to ask. In sha Allaah I hope that with the conversations that those few do take the time to have with me or even by reading my blog, that I inspire someone enough to at the very least learn about Islaam, before passing judgements based solely on the negative stories or half truths told by biased media outlets which act more like cheap tabloid magazines than reputable news sources. There are always multiple sides to every story; that side, this side and in the middle there is the truth.
Don't be afraid to ask questions. The only stupid question is the one that goes unasked.
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