Allaah Knows Best

Assalamu Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu.

Sometimes things happen for a reason and sometimes those things aren't always what they seem to be. What starts off as something bad may turn out to be one of the most positive and it is the same the other way around. When we feel like nothing is going or can go right, that nothing ever works in our favor, we assume that it is bad luck or that we are, for some reason, being punished by God so therefore we are not getting "our way". Sometimes the things we want the most are the things that are the worst for us and those things that we think would be the worst for us, are the best. Nothing happens, good or bad, without Allah allowing it.

It is true that we have been given the freedom of choice, to choose for ourselves which paths we will take in life, but all of the potential paths have been written. It is a natural human reaction to be envious or jealous of the things that others have, thinking those things would be best. We tend to spend too much time wishing, begging, hoping for the things that we don't have but think that we should and forget to count the blessings that we DO have and thank Allaah for those instead. Only He knows what is best for us, while we do not.

When it seems that someone has something that you don't think they should, it does get hard to understand why they are afforded those things instead of us. For instance, when a person one ever does bad things but wins the lottery, it is easy to ask "Why Allaah, does so and so get this or that when I am a good person, I help the less fortunate and I do the right things??" It would seem as though the better person would deserve to have the "nicer" things or the most wealth but this isn't always so. Those with the best character, the ones who sacrifice the things they want for the things they need or those who help the stranger when no one else will, those are the people who will benefit the most and will have the most deen when their time to be judged by Allaah comes. This life shouldn't be about who has the best, biggest, newest, most expensive things or the most money.

I'm not perfect and I'm not the best but I try. It is a journey that I am on daily and there are struggles and hard times. It's getting easier though and getting rid of the negativity and remembering that while I might see something that I'd like to have, I know that in shaa Allaah there is something better for me in the end.

Jaw droppers from the past week or so

Assalamu Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu.

Not a whole lot has been going on around here the past few weeks except for tons of work at my store. Being short handed is never fun but it has allowed me to once again experience some of the less than savory comments that those who come out at night are more obliged to share.

I wish that I could say nothing that anyone has to say surprises me much anymore but there's always one who manages to make my jaw drop. The night after having my nationality questioned (again), a rather inquisitive woman came into my single staffed store. Like most of the others who have questions, she started off asking what religion I belong to and followed that with the always popular "what is that on your head?" and the "why" that goes with it. I explained to her the purpose of the hijab and niqab and from there it quickly went down hill. 

She asked me if I believe that God is a man and she proceeded to tell me that she believes God is a woman, that I'm making a mistake and, in her opinion (with some pretty colorful language thrown in), I shouldn't be ok with covering my head or doing anything that might be considered the least bit submissive to a man, including my husband, even though I politely told her that I don't do those things for any man, I do them for myself and to better my chances of going to Jannah (Paradise, Heaven.. Whatever you want to call it). She informs me that, in her opinion of course, I will be wasting a lot of time believing how I do. Luckily, after about 5 minutes of the pretty much one sided conversation, another customer came up to check out and I thanked her for her opinion, told her I respect how she believes and to have a good night. 

I haven't seen her since that night and even though I do respect her opinions of me and all that, I'm not really too sad that I haven't been graced by another round of her feminist ideals. I mean, be feminist if you want. Believe how you want and be confident in your beliefs, that's your prerogative just please, if you feel what you're about give out advice on how I should believe, keep that little gem to yourself and I won't disparage you or try to tell you how to live your life because I doubt very highly that we will see eye to eye. 

Most days I can make it through without any real issues or comments but then there are the times I'm brutally reminded of where I live and even though it's a university town with much diversity, the level of small mindedness that crawls out of the woodwork always amazes me. It kills me sometimes when other women basically tell me they would rather me wear skirts that barely cover my butt and tops that show off my chest than long covering dresses. I guess I'll never see the logic in that. 

Then there are those who never wonder why my head is covered but instead when they ask me if I've ever had any random food made with the use of alcohol, in this case, pasta in vodka sauce, (I have by the way, but remember I'm a revert to Islaam), and I say that I can't have foods made with alcohol, they assume I'm a recovering alcoholic. To which I reply "No, I'm Muslim." and walk away because there are no words that can accurately describe what goes through my head after that. 

I will admit though, that in nearly two years since my reversion, I've been asked if I'm a nun more times than I can count; asked if I'm from Iran, Israel, Saudi Arabia, Iraq and others that I can't remember at the moment, but I have never been asked if I'm a recovering alcoholic so I guess there is always a first for everything.